To Galahad
by EmiliShadow
Summary: Love triangles have never been so complex! galahad/gawain galahad/tristan! no flames please! review?
1. sleepless knights

Galahad lingered outside the open doors of the tavern watching the rather whorish 'Velenia' climb upon the lap of a man. A man that Galahad only wished would give him a second glance. Sighing dejectedly, he began to abandon his hopes dropping his hand over the note concealed in his breeches pocket.

He was about to stride away when one of his fellow knights and good friend, stepped out of the shadows. Tristan startled him and he jumped noticeably. His heart stopped racing and he saw a sympathetic look grace Tristan's normally emotionless face.

"You alright?" He asked genuinely concerned by his friend's solemn state. Galahad was silent for a while, watching Velenia climbing all over Gawain.

"I guess," He sighed turning from the door and staring into the emptiness of the night. "I just wish I wasn't such a coward," Galahad felt a comforting hand on his shoulder and he turned to face Tristan.

"And I wish Gawain was a little more observing, for both your sake and mine" Tristan stated with a sad smile. The two stood there for a while, the only noise being the loud and drunken singing from inside the lantern lit tavern, a contrast to the crickets chirping within the milkweed.

Eventually Tristan was called away by Arthur and Galahad wandered aimlessly home. A while later he heard familiar drunken giggles in the hallway. Gawain's door slammed shut and bolted and he heard the headboard clanging against the wall.

"Another one night stand" he murmured to himself disgusted by the fact that a few feet away Gawain was pounding a woman who was barely worthy of a hog. He lay for a moment until he was disgusted enough to rise from his bed, pulling a tunic over his head before wandering out of his chamber. He stopped briefly outside Gawain's before continuing down the hall to Tristan's quarters.

Tristan had anticipated Galahad's arrival and therefore left his door unbolted. Galahad slipped inside his room and even in the dim moonlight, Tristan could see the tear paths down his friend's face. He motioned for him to join him and Galahad obliged. Silently weeping as Tristan soothed him. It broke his heart to see Galahad in such a troubled state.

This had become a regular occurrence. Gawain would sleep with another whore and Galahad would fall apart in Tristan's arms.

It couldn't continue. Neither man knew how much longer they could survive if this continued…

Three days later the knights were riding out to fight a rally of Woads in roman territory. Galahad rode slightly behind everyone else avoiding talk of "what a great 'lay' so-and-so was." He was getting tired of laughing along with their crude jokes and agreeing with their exaggerations. Tristan was scouting so he was left alone to mope.

Arthur had taken notice of this and fell back to make conversation with the young knight but to no avail. Galahad was far away in his mind and all he would manage was a polite nod or shrug every once in a while.

Tristan came galloping back from the dense forest ahead, his horse covering ground like a wildcat. He pulled his steed up and around rapidly. The horse almost lost its footing before settling its hooves into the ground.

"Woads!" Tristan exclaimed breathlessly reining his horse in.

"How many?" Bors asked shifting in his saddle.

"Hundreds. Three hundred, at least" Tristan answered and everyone looked to Arthur. He nodded.

"Lets go!" Arthur pulled his stallion into a shallow rear and turned leading us intto a steady advance. Galahad reined his steed into place between Tristan and Gawain. Their formation lasted as they rolled like thunder, across the forest floor and into a sea of Woads.

Blades were drawn and Galahad instinctively drew his bow pulling the chord and firing arrows into enemy bodies with rapid speed. His arrows grew scarce and he shot one last arrow before puling his sword from its sheath and dismounting his horse.

His sword moved through flesh as if it were butter staining his blade instead of blood. Tristan watched his back shooting arrows still from upon his horse.

Suddenly someone struck Galahad. And struck him hard. He felt the blow split his ribs and screamed out in pain and shock. Immediately Tristan and Gawain were at his side. Galahad curled himself in a tight ball, writhing in extreme pain. The rest of the knights soon surrounded him. Tristan kneeled attempting to inspect his injury but Galahad was moving far too much.

Trembling with pain Galahad attempted to get to his knees but a sharp pain in his side reduced him to a heap on the ground. Hands were on his shoulders and he looked into Gawain's worried eyes feeling him and Tristan hoist his trembling body onto Gawain's horse. Gawain mounted behind him and rapidly, yet gently they galloped to the wall. Somewhere within the pain and shock Galahad felt the light grasp around his waist tighten and heard Gawain whisper something he would never forget.

"_Hold on, Hold on for me__"_

When his eyes opened all Galahad saw was brightness. For a second he was filled with horror. _Am I dead? _But when he focused a little bit harder he could feel the dull ache of his ribs and the soft familiar murmur of talking. He coughed slightly and the murmuring stopped he was suddenly surrounded by familiar faces. Tristan, Gawain, Arthur, Lancelot… Their faces were concerned, yet relieved to see him.

"H-How long was I out?" Galahad spoke his voice coming out in short gasps.

"Since yesterday at dusk" Arthur finally stated after a couple moments.

"A Woad practically smashed you in half" Lancelot mentioned.

"You're lucky to be here." Arthur added. "Tristan took care of that Woad…" Galahad glanced at Tristan and he just shrugged.

"Got what was coming for him" Just then did he feel something grasp his hand.

He looked down to see someone's hand holding his, _Gawain__'__s hand. _Eventually most everyone had left his room. Gawain sat on the edge of his bed and Tristan took the hint leaving the two alone in Galahads chamber.

"Thank you" Gawain whispered to him. Galahad glanced into his eyes.

"For what?" He felt Gawain's hand rest upon his again.

"For holding on." Without warning Gawain leaned forward placing a soft kiss on the wounded knights cheek. Pulling away their eyes made contact and Galahad sighed.

"Don't leave me," Gawain leaned closer and purred in his ear.

"That's a promise" His soft lips grazed Galahads and he felt his heart beating a million times a minute. The kiss became more passionate and Galahad slanted his head slightly to the left to allow easy entrance for Gawain's hungry tongue. These were the moments of pure bliss he had waited so long for. They were the silence before a storm. Nothing and nobody could anticipate what would happen next or why. But neither Galahad nor Gawain wanted to even think about it. They were stuck in the present. The future was leagues away in their mind.

All that mattered was the friction of their lips and hands on each other.

Tristan stood watching in the doorway. A tear discreetly made it's way down his cheek. Watching Gawain claim the man he loved caused his heart to both break and heal at the same time, It was pure suffering.

This was happiness for Galahad and as much as it made Tristan happy for him, it also tore him apart. What about us? He'd asked himself. For a man of little words he had some big thoughts, big thoughts that would stay big, trapped in his mind. So the quiet scout stood watching as his heart broke into two, melting within his soul causing some more tears to stream down his face.

_"To Galahad: May he love one as much as I love he."_ The words were murmured to nobody in particular but it felt as if they were echoed throughout the generations.

Fin


	2. Stolen kisses

The days passed with the rain. Hours hung like clouds lazily over the head of a man. Tristan sat in his usual corner, but his eyes weren't on the busy tables as usual. He wasn't marking faces or observing the souls of men; his eyes were solely focused on the half empty pitcher of ale ahead of him.

Gawain and Galahad joked at a table on the other side of the room and Tristan couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with emotion. He was angry but he was sad, He was happy but he was miserable. Every time he saw them together he felt sick. Miserable.

Galahad deserved to smile. After years of being alone and ignored he had every right to be happy. _But if only it was I who could make him happy…_ Tristan thought to himself averting his eyes from the couple in fear that if he stared for too long his eyes would show the load of emotion that was hidden behind his long braided hair. They had told Arthur about their relationship today and Arthur, even though it was against his religion accepted them with open arms.

The other knights had heard about it, like they always hear about everything, and embraced them as a couple. They were now all at the tavern drinking and having a jolly good time, all save for Tristan who feigned happiness but deep within, for every laugh and grope, his icy heart got a little colder.

He finished the last of his ale before rising and walking silently out of the tavern giving one last longing glance at Galahad as he stepped out into the night air. His warm breath floated from his lips disappearing as quick as it appeared.

His footsteps were light and listless as he walked off into the night, his feet finding a familiar path to his chamber door. Whence got inside he stripped himself of clothing. Falling upon his bed naked, he buried his face in a pillow searching for sleep. The moonlight streamed through his window and shone over his bare tattooed skin. The door was left unbolted.

He always left it open for Galahad but was disappointed when he awoke to empty sheets. He missed holding him and soothing the tears off of his cheeks, his thumbs rubbing soft circles over the boy's back. Finally with thoughts of Galahad he fell into a dreamless slumber.

The knights had begun to see a change in their silent scouts behaviour as obvious as autumn leaves. He was distant. He had always been moderately distant but this was a different kind of distance. He was quiet and kept to himself far more than usual. He only spoke when spoken to. Arthur gave the scout a command and he obeyed without a reply.

At the encampments he slept away from the others. He wouldn't eat with his brothers in arms and took to standing in the distance staring at nothing in particular. Some of the knights, namely Dagonet and Bors would attempt to break Tristan's desolate trance but eventually they gave up seeing no hope in their blind efforts.

In battle, Tristan fought with a newfound brutality that not even he could account for. His fights were his own. Nobody shared his victory nor did they question it.

He would go out on scouting missions muttering a few words to Arthur before disappearing for hours at a time. Even his hawk seemed worried for him and she would stay close to him. The magnificent raptor, whose feathers had once shone like the summer leaves were now dull and heavy, Tristan's eyes, once sharp and decisive, were now emotionless and dreary.

Something was wrong and Galahad was determined to know what. Even if it meant risking all he… they had, **so be it. **

Galahad waited until Tristan left for an early scouting mission. He stood with his back to a tree his eyes following the silent scout as he galloped through the trees, his hawk soaring above him. Galahad mounted Kjeli, pulling her reins to her dappled neck. He urged her into a gallop and he rode after the scout, the horses hooves travelling soundlessly across the Dew sodden ground.

After a while he had lost sight of the man and was about to give up when he heard cursing coming from a clearing to his left. Dismounting he tied Kjeli to a tree and approached the scene. Tristan stood there, his back facing Galahad as he cursed to himself pacing restlessly, to and fro.

Tristan's hawk swooped from the treetops landing on his master's shoulder carefully. Tristan turned to look at the bird stroking its chest feathers. The hawk glanced to where Galahad stood, knowingly but quickly averted her sharp eyes to stare at her keeper as he spoke.

"Oh, What am I going to do?" Tristan asked the bird quietly " How am I going to be there for him? It just feels so wrong." Galahad listened intently. " How am I going to tell him that I..." A snap brought Tristan back into reality. Jumping to his feet he pulled his bow.

An arrow pierced the wood just next to Galahad's head and he jumped away and into Tristan's view, cursing his clumsy feet. Tristan held his bow until their eyes met. Slowly the bow fell to his side and the scout turned away.

"Tell him that you what?" Galahad asked the scout curiously and he kept his back to the young knight. His lips stayed sealed. He strapped his bow to his saddle but as he tightened the ties the young knight stepped forward grabbing his arm. He pulled his arm from his friends grasp but Galahad touched his arm once again. He shoved the boy back and muttered a curse. Galahad grabbed his shoulders and Tristan turned fully pushing him backwards. This was going nowhere and in the knights frustration Galahad shoved Tristan back letting a low guttural noise escape his throat.

The shoving resulted in a blow to his right cheekbone. Galahad grabbed his face shocked that Tristan had actually hit him. Galahad's eyes glowed red and white, furiously, he shoved the scout hard again and Tristan tripped over of a root, taking both of them down. Tumbling to the forest floor, the two wrestled until Galahad was pinned to the forest floor, Tristan pulling a blade to his throat.

His eyes were clenched, half-closed in a dangerously unreadable emotion. Galahad never thought he would ever push Tristan to this level. His captor's eyes suddenly flickered. The shadow clouding his mind faded away and the blade fell from the startled man's throat. With a soft thud it hit the ground along with all the anger. Instead tension filled the air.

The two lay, Tristan straddling Galahad his arms holding his lean upper body parallel to Galahad's. Galahad's eyes traced Tristan's soft features for anything. He picked up a hint of something that he hadn't noticed before. Behind Tristan's calm eyes was an unmasked illusion of longing.

Before Tristan knew what he was doing, he instinctively crushed his lips to Galahad's. Expecting to be shoved away immediately he pulled back looking to Galahad, whose eyes were thick and calm. And as he began to rise from the young knight he felt a rough hand grab his wrist, pulling him back down.

Galahad flipped Tristan to the ground. He looked deep into the man's eyes but the faÁade still remained untouched. When Tristan had kissed him it felt so right. He had never felt so warm as the moment when they kissed. His mind was now clouded with confusion and in a last ditch attempt he captured Tristan's lips with his own.

Tristan felt the kiss surge like fire, all throughout his body. He was so fully entranced by soft lips and their deep breathing that he hardly realized his lips reacting. His hands pinned at his sides found their way into Galahad's curly locks and his breaths became short and uneven.

Eventually the two knights pulled away and Tristan got up, dusting himself off. Galahad followed untying his horse and tightening the girth. He heard Tristan let out a sigh and he smiled inwardly to himself.

After a few seconds of tension they both turned. Tristan stepped towards Galahad embracing him once again. Their arms tightened around one another and they held each other for a moment, enjoying the warmth within their arms closeness. They pulled apart and smiled at one another sadly.

They knew that if Gawain ever heard of this it would ruin him. They knew that nothing would ever be the same and they understood this would never be. But above all they knew that what they felt was freedom, a freedom that was fought for with many tears and countless fights.

With this on their minds they kissed until the morning sun peeked out of the darkness and bathed them in the foggy dawn glow. With one last kiss they mounted their horses and made their way back to camp.

**Pronunciation Key:**

**Kjeli (cai-gee-lee)**

**Glossary:**

**Raptor**: No not the dinosaur. A raptor in this meaning is a member of the birds of prey family, These birds include: Eagles, owls, osprey's, falcon's, hawk's, vultures, condor's.

**Dappled**: A common coat colour for horses. Made up mainly of white and grey hairs giving an almost spotted effect on the coat.

**Gallop**: The fasted pace of a horse or other quadruped, with all the feet off the ground with each stride.

**Girth**: A strap that runs under the horses' belly holding the saddle on its back. Commonly made of leather or woven cord; it is tightened to support the weight of the rider on the seat of the saddle.

**Pronunciation Key:**

**Kjeli (cai-gee-lee)**


End file.
